Tispaquin Asks .. Ch. 2

Head reattached after 334 years, the Black Sachem of Middleborough asks ...

Again reading your 'internet thing' I see many people saying USA should drop lots of bombs to send a message. Do these bombs have messages inside them? How are messages in bombs not all burned by explosion and fire when bomb explodes? Are bombs meant to explode or are those bombs that did not work right? Does bomb have a little door and red flag with message inside? Is USA bombs like USA Mail Box ? How do people find message in bomb if house falls on top of bomb? Do bombs come with shovels?

Tispaquin

Universal Translator Response:

Dear Tispaquin,

Given your head reattachment has just been completed, it is good to see you are working so diligently to come up to speed on current events around Assawompsett and beyond. Bombs are designed to send a message called "Boom." The message "Boom" was carefully selected because it translates into so many languages. When a bomb goes "Boom" it can mean "You're Dead" or "Your Kids Are Dead" or "There Goes the Neighborhood" or "You Weren't Using Those Legs Anyways." Sometimes the message in the "Boom" means if you don't do exactly what the person dropping the bomb wants you to do, there will be a lot more "Booms." Sometimes the message in "Boom" mean we hate you and we want to kill you no matter what you do. These two different "Booms" can be hard to tell apart because they sound a lot alike. This is still being worked on.


Sincerely,

Universal Translator