Friday, August 25, 2006

Bomb the Whole World?

"When the intelligence community says Iran is 5 to 10 years away from a nuclear weapon, I ask: 'If North Korea were to ship them a nuke tomorrow, how close would they be then?" -- Newt Gingrich, New York Times, August 25, 2006.

How does a sane person respond to this Einsteinian "thought experiment" of Mr. Gingrich? Just 30 days ago, Mr. Gingrich, trying to sell some book he wrote in crayon, was telling anyone who would listen that World War III was underway vis a vis the 2006 South Lebanon War. Now that last month's World War III has proven to be the shortest World War on record (and the smallest too), Mr. G has discovered the real threat facing the World is North Korea Fed-Exing a nuke to Iran. First of all, think of the shipping costs on that, especially if it's overnight or 3-day delivery. And what about insurance? Do you put it in packing peanuts, bubble wrap or both?

And what about Russia? Unlike North Korea, they have lots of nukes to spare and have good diplomatic and economic relations with Iran. Shouldn't we be more worried that Iran will buy a nuke from Russia? Plus they can use Fed Ex Ground rather than Fed Ex Boat or Fed Ex Air.

And what about Luxembourg? Just sitting there quietly, perhaps too quietly. What if they bought a nuke -- Newt?

And what about some African soccer team that's pissed they lost the World Cup, again? Hell, what about the US soccer team? They got their butts kicked and could want revenge on Brazil or Antarctica or something. What about the Red Sox? What if they nuke the Yankees for spanking them five games in a row at Fenway?

The threats boggle.

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